


You Might Not Miss This

by UniverseInk



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Not pro-Vriska, Past Abuse, Terezi and John talk about Vriska
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 20:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniverseInk/pseuds/UniverseInk
Summary: Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you’ve given up on finding Vriska.Terezi tells John all about her past with Vriska, and John has some things to say about it.





	You Might Not Miss This

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Talk of past abuse(both physical and emotional), manipulation, and unhealthy relationships.  
> Contains anti-Vriska sentiments so don't go into this expecting happy Vris///rezi  
> Title and opening quote from the song "I Will" by Brandi Carlile

"I must say that I'm proud to know you  


And I'll never be the same because we've met  


You might not miss this  


But I will"  
\-----------------------  


Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you’ve given up on finding Vriska.  


You’ve known her since you were a wriggler, and there has never been anything Vriska Serket wanted that she couldn’t get. She could bend rules around her little finger with ease, and even death couldn’t stop her.  


So you figure she just doesn’t want you.

John, you think, is the only one who misses her. Besides yourself, of course. At the very least, he’s the only one you talk about her with. The others seem grateful that she hasn’t shown up. John, however, smiles sadly and lets you talk about your feelings. You’re not sure that kismeses are supposed to talk about their feelings together, but your planet and culture are long dead, and John is human anyways.  


So you lay with your head in John’s lap, deciding not to tell him about the bit of shaving cream you can smell in his hair, and talk about Vriska. He sits quietly, nodding and making small sounds when appropriate. You tell him about the way you used to FLARP together, how you stopped talking over what she did to Tavros, how you came to forgive her on the meteor, and your subsequent moiraillegiance. When you’re done, John stills the fingers that had been running through your hair and looks down at you.  


“Did she ever apologize?” he asks.  


“For what?” You can sense that whatever John is getting at, he’s very serious about it.  


“For what she did to Tavros, to Aradia. To you.” You don’t think John gets it.  


“She saved me,” you say. “Yeah, we had a complicated past, and she did some fucked up things. But she saved me.”  


“Saved you from what?”  


“From Gamzee, from myself. Just before the final battle, I used to my seer of mind powers to regain the memories from the timeline you came from. The timeline where I killed her. After I did it, I felt so guilty that I let myself get into an abusive relationship with Gamzee. The damage he did when I tried to stop him ended up killing me in that timeline.  


“In this timeline, she stopped that from happening. She stopped me from doing something that I would have really regretted.” John is silent for a moment.  


“But she never apologized?”  


“Well, not really. But her actions speak for themselves.”  


“I don’t think that’s enough, Terezi.”  


“What do you mean?”  


“Vriska told me something once: that you don’t have to be a good person to be a hero. I’m still not sure what she meant by it, but I’ve come to understand that heroic actions don’t make someone good. I mean, take Dave’s Bro for instance. He did a bunch of stuff people would consider heroic, but after what Dave told us about his childhood, I don’t think anyone could call him good.”  


“Vriska’s not like him, she wouldn’t-”  


“Wouldn’t what?”  


“I don’t know. I just… what are you trying to say, John?”  


“I’m trying to say that maybe all the awesome, heroic things Vriska did don’t make up for the hurt she caused.” You think about that for a moment.  


“She wasn’t all bad. She did good things, too.”  


“I know.”  


“She helped me.”  


“You know, I don’t think so.” You frown up at John. “When I was doing the retcon, you had me write something on a wall for you: ‘you don’t need him’. You’re incredibly strong, Terezi. You would have saved yourself, I’m sure of it. Not having to feel the guilt over killing Vriska is probably what made you able to turn down Gamzee. Yeah, she had something to do with it, but you’re the one who made the decision. Don’t give her your power like that.”  


“That’s not the only time she-” John puts a hand on your face.  


“Terezi, she wasn’t good for you.” You pull you head back, stunned.  


“What?”  


“You told me about your FLARPing stuff, how she tricked you into capturing and killing innocent trolls to feed her lusus. How she told you that you were punishing wrongdoers. She’s been manipulating you, with and without her powers, since the beginning. And through all of that you’ve never once gotten an apology. You deserve better.”  


You lay there and struggle to find the words to say.  


“You don’t have to have this figured out right now,” John assures you. “Take your time, figure out how you really feel about her. I’ll be here.” You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. “Alright, now get your scrawny ass off me and help me make dinner.”  


John shoves you off of him and makes his way to the kitchen. You stay on the couch a moment longer. John, for all his dorkiness, isn’t exactly easy to understand. You thought he was only interested in you to pull pranks and laugh at each other. You think maybe you were wrong.  


Vriska may not want you, but you think you’ve found someone who does.


End file.
